Other Mothers

Staying Safe in Support Groups

Common happenstance: Somebody joins a PTSD support group, discovers a new friend who is *just like them* - which they thought didn't exist anywhere on the planet. The new friend feels the same way. These two end up alone in a chatroom, rejoicing in not being alone anymore, in having found someone who understands.

The Tragedy: They will discover that they are not identical twins or soul mates. Each has their own unique configuration of personality. And when each discovers that the other is not the long-lost missing part of their own soul - and this is inevitable - then strong feelings of betrayal take over. It's a disaster, emotionally speaking.

Suggestion: If you join a support group (which is a good idea, imho) - remain *within the group* - don't go off with a new friend. There's nothing wrong with either of you. You can't be blamed if it's a disaster looking for a place to happen. No matter how strong the urge - stay within the group. Don't pair up - not yet. The support is within the group, where you can still support each other. Trust me. Please.

PTSD & Hoodies & Hats

I won't go out without something soothing on my head, like a hat or a hoodie or even a scarf. Given the latitude of yellow alert that I live in, anything that narrows my sensory input is a relief.

Am I inviting attack? I don't think so. Be aware of everything all the time, so that nothing can ever, ever sneak up on me, is an illusion. A human being just doesn't have that much energy. I think I'm taking a reasonable risk. I accept the comfort that hoodies & hats & scarves can provide.

PTSD'S Startle Effect

Here's something I've noticed about noise.

Situation: Sis and I in the kitchen. A woodpecker in a tree outside. Woodpecker starts up. Sis and I are both startled. Then we both realize it's only a woodpecker.

Here's the difference: Sis (who does not have PTSD), pays less and less attention to the woodpecker until she doesn't notice the noise at all. I (with PTSD) get the same startle effect with *every* peck that the woodpecker pecks. It doesn't matter if I've figured out what it is. Each and every peck startles me right out of my skin. That's the PTSD startle effect.

The result: I have to get away from the noise or I'll start an adrenaline rush, which might get aggressive. They're coming to take me away, ha-ha.

PTSD Advice

I just came from another PTSD blog. Along with items about anxiety, stress, coping with emotions, etc., there was an ad that read: “Whiten Your Teeth.” Maybe it's only a glitch in the “topic appropriate” function of advertising. But it’s not so far from the advice that I've received over the last few decades:

• Think happy thoughts.
• Get out more.
• Join things.
• Spice up your sex life.
• Oh. In that case, get a sex life.
• Get a job.
• Okay, get a better job.
• Go to church.
• Go to church basements.
• Take up line dancing.
• Smile!

Is there any advice that you wish someone had given you?
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BBC, Tetris, & PTSD

The BBC reports that playing Tetris during a traumatic event eliminates flashbacks.

Erm, I mean, flashbacks that would have resulted from a traumatic event, don't - if you played Tetris during it. It's kind of hard to wrap my head around that. The image is a little wild. I can imagine SNL having fun with it.

But the idea reminds me of something. I've been told that the military is big on keeping everybody busy *especially* during and/or after traumatic events. Is that true? Maybe science is catching up on why it's a good idea. I'm really guessing here - I'm a civilian. Dad served, but he didn't have much to say about it, except for a couple of funny stories. Oh yeah, and they kept him busy.

It reminds me of something else, too - the head games we all use for various reasons - counting backward, looking for things that are blue or red, and so on. Mine is memorizing a poem in bed and reciting it till I sleep. Every time I wake, I recite it again, and sleep again. In the morning, I don't know what the poem was. It doesn't matter. It did its job.
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Old PTSD, New Trauma?

The day before yesterday I was dematting my Persian cat and finally had recourse to scissors. With which I cut him. I didn't see that at first, he's got so much fur. And I was *so* sure that I wasn't too near to his skin. All of a sudden, there it was - an opening in his skin that I thought was as big as a tennis ball, but when the vet looked, it was about a quarter inch square. Kitty got stitches. The vet said not to feel bad, she said it happens.

Don't feel bad? The guilt is terrible. This is what I want to ask you about. I've been in shock ever since, coming out of it now. I was disoriented, freezing cold, electric zingies running up and down my right side, constant trembling and shuddering, and passing out a couple of times.

I feel like a selfish turd for making this all about me. Oh fine, *I* must've been traumatized. How about the poor cat? I've done all that I can for him, and then some - you know how guilt goes? I begged him to eat a bowl full of Temptations. He ate. Right now he's asleep in my red plaid mohair cape, the one I won't lend to people.

Here's the question: is a person who already has PTSD more prone to trauma and additional PTSD?